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关系亲密的人之间要说「谢谢」吗？ - 知乎

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关系亲密的人之间要说「谢谢」吗？

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<div class="zm-editable-content">从小父母和大家庭里，长辈都教我们得到别人帮助时要说“谢谢”。比方说家庭聚餐，亲人们帮忙夹了菜要感谢。无论多么亲密,父母还是兄妹，都要说声谢谢。  <br> 后来上了高中，大学。也习惯性的及时表达对他人帮助的感谢。  但室友们，还有男朋友，都不喜欢我这样。<br>他们说，这样说的话会感觉双方很有距离感很生疏。尤其是男朋友，不喜欢我这样，他说这样很不亲密，情侣之间就不分得那么清，不需要谢谢的。<br><br>但我从小习惯了，别人帮了我我不说的话，会很不自在。  怎么办？我还要继续这样吗？什么时候不该说"谢谢”？？</div>


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<a data-tip="p$t$zhi-shi-jiu-shi-li-liang-13" href="/people/zhi-shi-jiu-shi-li-liang-13">芝士就是力量</a>，<strong title="法国就是培根" class="zu-question-my-bio">法国就是培根</strong>

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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">幽冥之事，实所难言，幽魂不须超度。人死业在，善有善报，恶有恶报。佛家行法，乃在求生人心之所安，超度的乃是活人。         -------- 《倚天屠龙记》<br><br>在我看来，这声『谢谢』也是一样，为的不是让对方承受这份谢意，而是自己心安。<br><br>过分在乎别人的感受，在乎别人的评价，在乎别人眼里你的形象，在乎别人帮了自己自己说声谢谢他会不会心满意足，在乎自己帮了别人别人有没有说这一声谢谢，在乎你到底是别人的眼还是别人的眼儿，你会过的相当艰难。<br><br>你有问过自己的那颗椰子心，它到底喜欢说谢谢还是不喜欢说么？<br><br>很多时候，有些习惯，有些行为，只是为了满足自己的轻度强迫症，没必要给自己或者给别人披上一个大众都能接受的道德外衣。<br><br>比如，我偶尔会打包给路边的老年乞丐，却不是因为我善良。这样的日子要么是我进账了一笔可观的收入，要么是我将面对一个不可控结果的宣布。于我而言，打包的行为就如同去拜寺庙，是一种迷信的攒人品行为。<br><br>你非要由此断定我就是一个高尚的人，一个纯粹的人，一个有道德的人，一个脱离了低级趣味的人，一个有益于人民的人，非要今天跟我回家睡我一次一次又一次再来一次，我也没意见，但是得去宾馆，即使一个人住家里也是不能随便带人回的，不为什么，这也是我的习惯。<br><br>比如，我从来不删评论，被骂飞了也不点举报，不是因为我宽容有气量肚子里能撑全家桶，只是我觉得有正面评价和负面评价的留言，让我感受到这个回答的真实，让我下次能写的更好。评论区里一派刀戈相见欣欣向荣五军之战XJBD的繁华盛世，我好喜欢。<br><br>但生意上我的单哪个乙方要跟我抢，大家都脱三层皮我一一拜访请各路神仙也要争回来。我可不是不记仇的人，我只是不喜欢当面撕逼这种没效率没杀伤力的报复方式。要开战就在合适的timing在我备好兵马粮草在法律允许范围内照着对方七寸彻底打残，别你推人一掌人爬起来捅你一刀到了派出所还得按打架斗殴各打五十大板各付各的医药费处理。网上的是非言论，不值得浪费时间去辩驳而已，说服了又不像睡服了那么让人身心愉悦。<br><br>一切都是为了自己，Après moi, le déluge? Je m'en moque.<br><br>有些事儿就和做爱一样，自己心无旁贷的投入，全身心去享受了，对方也会获得能从你这儿获得的最好的体验。老想着提高技巧盘算着我该如何comfort身边人回忆着书里写的那些兴奋区域默念九浅一深右三左三摆若鳗行进若蛭步过多的去关注她的感受甚至用语言去确认对方爽不爽到没到你幸福么，那对方姓鲧。<br><br>老子打个出租都会在心里感谢司机急人之所急打个黑车会感谢对方不杀之恩打个专车会感谢师傅让我体验不同车型的人，就稀罕在关门前说声谢谢，习惯而已，不说浑身不舒服斯基。但这不代表我就是一个永远有礼貌从来不爆发的人。<br><br>当然，人是社会属性的动物，不能事事都完全由着自己的性子来，尤其还是面对低头不见抬头见亲密关系的人，那怎么办呢？一个不太喜欢听谢谢的人帮助了你，潇洒的转身觉得他自己酷酷的萌萌哒，那就等他走远后看着他的背影whisper一声谢谢，说给自己听咯。<br><br>过年回家，重新回到习惯说谢谢的大家庭里，重新拾起第一时间字正腔圆报出谢谢而非呵呵的这个习惯呗。<br><br>这种见人说人话见喵喵喵喵同样不是为了别人，只是为了少给自己惹上些完全没必要存在的解释的麻烦。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">先来严肃回答问题——<br><ul><li>说"谢谢"有错吗？<br>那要看你说的“谢谢”<b>达到了什么效果</b>~</li><li>亲密关系之间要说“谢谢”吗？<br>因人而异，<b>我觉得有啊</b>，但是有的人觉得没有那也要尊重人家啊。</li></ul><br><br><br><br>再来说说我的想法。<br>语言嘛，沟通的最重要工具之一。<br><noscript><img src="//pic1.zhimg.com/9db7afc33fef033d184824b0b50dafc8_b.jpg" data-rawwidth="667" data-rawheight="453" class="origin_image zh-lightbox-thumb" width="667" data-original="//pic1.zhimg.com/9db7afc33fef033d184824b0b50dafc8_r.jpg">放上这张图的意思是——</noscript><img src="//s1.zhimg.com/misc/whitedot.jpg" data-rawwidth="667" data-rawheight="453" class="origin_image zh-lightbox-thumb lazy" width="667" data-original="//pic1.zhimg.com/9db7afc33fef033d184824b0b50dafc8_r.jpg" data-actualsrc="//pic1.zhimg.com/9db7afc33fef033d184824b0b50dafc8_b.jpg">放上这张图的意思是——<br><b>同一句话</b>，比如“谢谢”，<b>在不同的语境下，被不同的人说出来，意味着不同的含义。</b><br><b>同一句话，</b>比如“谢谢”，<b>在不同的语境下，被不同的人听到，也会产生不同的理解。</b><br>而且，说出的人想要表达的含义，和听到的人所理解的含义，<b>可能会存在偏差和距离</b>。<br>私以为，沟通的重要目的就是——<b>减少偏差，缩小距离，让双方对语言的含义达成共识</b>。<br><br><br>重复一遍——<br><b>同一句话</b>，比如“谢谢”，<b>在不同的语境下，被不同的人说出来，意味着不同的含义。</b><br><b>同一句话，</b>比如“谢谢”，<b>在不同的语境下，被不同的人听到，也会产生不同的理解。</b><br>而且，说出的人想要表达的含义，和听到的人所理解的含义，<b>可能会存在偏差和距离</b>。<br>私以为，沟通的重要目的就是——<b>减少偏差，缩小距离，让双方对语言的含义达成共识</b>。<br><br><br>你的家庭让你习惯于说“谢谢”，而你的同学和男友不那么喜欢被你感谢。<br>也许，在他们看来，你的“谢谢”，意味着疏远、客套……<br>那么，你有没有想过，自己所说的“谢谢”，是什么含义？你有没有告诉过他们？<br><br>我也习惯于说谢谢，对室友、对男友、对餐厅服务员、对清洁工大妈……食堂阿姨都因为我每天对她说谢谢而认识我了，看见我就笑~<br>我的“谢谢”，在不同语境下，意义不同：<br><ul><li>对服务人员说谢谢<br>出于对他们劳动的尊重，出于我所在意的自身的善意和修养。<br>【效果】：食堂阿姨很高兴啊，看见我就笑成一朵花啊，当然也会有人觉得莫名其妙。。。</li><li>对室友说谢谢<br>多数为撒娇卖萌，比如我爬到上铺之后发现自己忘了拿手机……<br>【效果】：她们买下我的萌，然后大家一起嘻嘻哈哈啊，当然有时候会说我“恶意”卖萌，囧~<br>少数是严重感激，比如我和父母不愉快了，一言不发回宿舍补觉，她们会因此帮我关灯……<br>如果是真的感激，我会告诉她们我所感动的那个point，会<b>有更多表达</b>。<br>【效果】：她们会<b>回应</b>我在“谢谢”背后的种种情绪，并且因此更了解我也更理解我，然后我们也会<b>更加融洽</b>。</li><li>对男朋友说谢谢<br>我们俩认识好几年了，彼此熟识，所以有一些共同点，比如对服务人员说谢谢……<br>我们之间也会有很多漫不经心的谢谢，比如……今天中午一起吃饭的时候他帮我开餐厅的门！<br>【效果】：<b>双方都适应这样的语言沟通习惯</b>，所以没什么效果。<br>也会有一些严重的“谢谢”，表达了一种，嗯，类似于“有你真好”的感激和珍惜。<br>【效果】：这种情况不多，双方都能够理解和体会，会拍拍头什么的作为回应。<br>嗯，有时候我们也会做一些不太合适的事情，迟到啊什么的，这种情况下会互相包容，然后被宽容的一方会说谢谢，一方面，<b>感谢对方的体谅</b>；另一方面，也表达一种“<b>自知之明</b>”——知道自己做得不合适了，今后会尽量避免，同时，<u>没有把对方的迁就当做理所应当</u>。<br>【效果】：本来也不是什么大事儿，就算是一开始有点生气，听到“谢谢”也就烟消云散了。</li></ul><br><br>——————————————————————————<br>但我从小习惯了，别人帮了我我不说的话，会很不自在。 怎么办？我还要继续这样吗？什么时候不该说"谢谢”？<br><ul><li>让你的“谢谢”更加“真诚”吧，说出口的时候<b>更欢快</b>一些~这样听到的人也会感受到你的情绪，毕竟，被帮助、被照顾、被呵护，是一件多么值得感恩的事情呀！<br></li><li>可以把你所“感谢”的东西<b>表达得更加具体</b>，他们会更懂得谢意背后的情绪。<br></li><li>和身边人建立起关于语言沟通习惯的默契，有时候一个笑容是比口头感谢更美好更温暖的方式~</li></ul><br>愿安好。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">把谢谢换成你真的太好了 一v一 基本就解决问题了。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">多谢刘柯的邀请！这也是个有意思的提问。<br><br>说说家庭文化吧。<br><br>家庭文化是一个家庭世代传承过程中形成和发展起来的<b>较为稳定的生活方式、生活作风、传统习惯、家庭道德规范以及为人处世之道等等。</b><br><br>家庭是一个人生存的最早的文化环境，家庭的价值观是家庭文化的核心，有教育的功能。一个家庭中的父母扮演的就是施教者的角色，父母的价值观和文化素养将会对孩子的成长形成决定性的影响。<br><br>家庭文化对孩子的影响体现在意识形态的影响和行为规范方面。中国的传统家庭文化非常注重道德教育，强调每个人对家庭的责任和义务，要敬老爱幼等等。<br><br>象题主的家庭教育就很传统，父母教育题主在接受他人帮助的时候及时地道谢，非常讲究礼数，<b>是很符合中国人“克己复礼”的行事风格的。</b><br><br>东方的文化，是很强调做人的道理的，题主在父母教育下<b>秉持“以德报人、以诚相待”的处世原则</b>，怎么可能是“错”的呢？<br><br>题主所提到的室友、朋友、男朋友等，<b>由于他们每个人也都有自己的家庭文化，也有自己的为人处世的信条和习惯，所以不尽和题主相同，所以觉得题主见外，也是有可能的，但并不真正成为一种交际上的冲突，他们只是没有去习惯你的家庭文化给你带来的生活交际风格。</b><br><br>不同的生活习惯，没有错与对，没有好与坏，只有是否理解和接受，是不是？<br><br>一个社会的基本伦理是一个人的言行不影响他人的感受和利益，你所做的事是及时地向帮助自己的人道谢，你为周围的人体现了来自你的家庭文化，这样的文化绝对是讨喜的，而不会让人厌烦。<br><br>相熟的人也许会觉得你说谢谢太过客气，如上所述，也许是他们的家庭文化相对比较粗放，并不太在意一定要你道谢或者回报，这只是家庭文化上人际交往过程中的一个非常小的侧面的体现，应该不会给你造成心理困扰。<br><br>人是人际关系的动物，必须生活在人际关系层面，无论你愿意不愿意，都得遵循文化规则来呈现自己，中国人是很推崇中庸之道的，人际关系和谐，内心秩序井然，人才能在宽松自在的感觉中驾驭生活、平衡自我。<br><br>所以无论怎么说，你在日常生活中呈现自己的文化色彩，都是受人欢迎的，<b>谁会真正的去埋怨一个懂礼貌的懂得与人为善的人呢？</b><br><br>你只需要去区分一件事，分清你的三个社交等级：<b>谁和你是亲密关系，谁和你是朋友关系，谁和你是一般关系。</b>你根据这三层关系的划分，可以稍微的让自己不那么恪守自己的家庭文化规则，在亲密的人、相熟的人面前不拘小节，<b>偶而允许自己也不那么的象平时的自己</b>，这样的体验也不错啊!<br><br>再进一步的说，那些说不习惯你常常客气的人，不见得在帮助你之后，真的可以不需要你道谢，亲密的人往往帮的忙都是大忙，都是劳心费神的，你一句“谢谢你”就能让他们感觉为你做事很值，而不是在做苦力。如果费了九牛二虎之力，一句春风拂面的话都听不到，久而久之，还有什么动力为你做事呢？<br><br>人对他人的期待总是潜伏着的，如果要学为人处世，就要学彻底，受人恩惠与帮助，多说谢谢，让他人心理也能得到平衡，这种做法是没错的。<br><br>其实<b>，更应该对亲密的人说谢谢，感谢他的爱，感谢他的无私奉献，感谢他的一路相伴，这个世界上，亲密的关系都是互爱互惠互助建构起来的。</b><br><br><br>你会坚持与人为善、以诚待人的，对吧！


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">感激之情需要借助形式来表达，但很多人往往只履行了形式，把感激抛诸脑后。<br><br>比如我的一个大学同学，总喜欢找别人帮忙做这做那：“XXX，能不能帮我把这篇论文润色一下？谢谢啊！”“XXX，听说你ps技术很好，帮我把这张照片眼睛弄大一点，谢谢啊！”“XXX，你路过超市帮我带瓶酸奶，我刚才忘了，谢谢啊！”……女生那边不知道，反正班上的36个男生，有20多个收到过她类似的请求，包括我在内。总是一些鸡毛蒜皮的小事，但有时候做起来很费时间，你帮她做完之后，她还会再说一次“太感谢你了，你人真好！”然后就没有然后了，等着她的下一轮求助来袭吧。后来在男生中间，她成了一个笑话。<br><br>在一般人的意识里，你帮人家，人家给你道过谢了，这事就结了呗，但恐怕你听了这个同学的故事也会觉得大大不妥吧？究其原因，除了她总是麻烦别人，还有就是她虽然善用“谢谢”这种形式，但是她的“谢谢“只是用完别人之后，给这次使用划一个句号，没有任何感激在里面。<br><br>虽然大家都提倡”帮了别人就别惦记着，等着人家报答你就太功利了“，但那是提供帮助者的高姿态，你作为受助人，拿这套理论为自己打掩护就不对了，否则有民间术语送给你——“白眼狼”。<br><br>陌生人帮你，比如给你指路的警察、帮你理发的师傅、把路让开让你先走的陌生人、帮你倒茶的服务员……，对于他们，你能给予的确实只有一句”谢谢“，要是你连句“谢谢”都没有，就有失教养了。<br><br>但熟人帮了你，你还欠他一个人情，你的”谢谢“并不是这份人情的终结，只是开始。把他对你的帮助记在心里，适当的时候也向他伸出援助之手，这比那句“谢谢”重要得多。如果他太过能干，一直没有机会帮他，下次向他求助时，除了说”谢谢“，可以附上一句“上次XX事情也是你帮我的，都没有机会为你做点什么，现在又要来麻烦你了”，这样既表达了感激，也让对方知道，你没有忘记他的恩情，这样至少让对方觉得温暖。<br><br>像父母、舍友、恋人这样朝夕相处的人，同样需要你表达感激之情，但除了即时反馈的”谢谢“，你还可以借助别的方式来表达，比如过段时间，给他送一件他需要的东西做礼物；比如一段时间之后，告诉他你对某次他如何帮你心存感激……这些东西比那句简单的“谢谢”更能传情达意。<br><br>你说你从小习惯了，别人帮了你，你不说“谢谢”会很不自在，那我想告诉你，学会在受到帮助时说“谢谢”只学到了教养的初步，比这个更重要的，是尊重对方的的感受和习惯，而不是图自己畅快，这才是教养的高阶。比如某答案的答主明知说“谢谢”妈妈会生气、难过，还硬要说，就弄巧成拙了，对朋友、恋人亦是如此。<br><br>回应质疑：<br>1、“人家题主问亲密的人要不要说谢谢，你回答‘需要’就行啦，扯这么多干嘛？”<br>简单一个需要或者不需要没法解决题主的问题，她如果不明白为什么自己会碰壁，下次她还不是一样陷入困惑，我试图帮她找出原因，给她对症下药。文章除了第二段的例子，都是在提供解决方案，而且分析了为什么这么解决，我想这才是题主想要的。<br><br>2、“你举的同学的例子太极端了，与题主的情况根本不符”“答非所问”<br>世界上有种东西叫论据，我举的同学的例子，只是为了让后面的观点更加容易理解，放了这个例子很多人都理解不了我在说啥，不放就真成天书了。<br><br>我的论据能证明后面的观点就够了，别盯着论据不放，而忽略我的观点。文章除了第二段的例子，都是在提供解决方案，而且分析了为什么这么解决，题主的问题只需要其中的一个段落就解决了，但我回答得或许比题主想知道的多，唯有这样，才能一次解除她心里所有的困惑。<br><br>一篇好好的文章，安了两个解释在后面，就像一个出街的美女屁股上贴了一张解释自己为什么这么美的A4纸，实在有伤审美。<br><br>【推广】欢迎关注微信公众号“你问我答”，搜索A-to-Q即可添加，扫描以下二维码添加亦可：<br><noscript><img src="//pic2.zhimg.com/badf42ae1332e0a0c866866f0a7cad55_b.jpg" data-rawwidth="681" data-rawheight="352" class="origin_image zh-lightbox-thumb" width="681" data-original="//pic2.zhimg.com/badf42ae1332e0a0c866866f0a7cad55_r.jpg"></noscript><img src="//s1.zhimg.com/misc/whitedot.jpg" data-rawwidth="681" data-rawheight="352" class="origin_image zh-lightbox-thumb lazy" width="681" data-original="//pic2.zhimg.com/badf42ae1332e0a0c866866f0a7cad55_r.jpg" data-actualsrc="//pic2.zhimg.com/badf42ae1332e0a0c866866f0a7cad55_b.jpg">


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<a class="answer-date-link last_updated meta-item" data-tip="s$t$发布于 2014-09-25" target="_blank" href="/question/24825703/answer/30998965">编辑于 2015-05-31</a>
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<a data-tip="p$t$xuxiaofeng" href="/people/xuxiaofeng">许晓风</a>，<strong title="职场妈妈" class="zu-question-my-bio">职场妈妈</strong>

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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">你不需要要改变，但你需要跟你男友和朋友解释一下，之所以说谢谢，是你习惯使然，不是不把他们当亲密的人。<br><br>话说，我们家先生到现在还在线上沟通时称我为您......每次都让我暴汗。因为呢，人家拼音分不清楚您和你。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">我和家人都会互相这样说呀，当然，我们还习惯说：我爱你。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">谢谢，有三种含义，一种是礼貌的，一种代表拒绝，还有一种是距离。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">女朋友说的 谢谢 里面往往有一股杀气


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">妈妈为了我倾注了全部心血，我都不曾感谢过，可我每次帮我妈妈做些小事，她都会说“谢谢”。<br>我有一次就说，“不用说谢谢的，要谢的话那我一辈子都谢不完。”<br>我妈的回答让我有所感悟，“再亲的亲人之间，谢谢也是不能省略的”。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">你可以说“谢谢么么哒”


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">以我的经验来看，你的问题不是你有没有说谢谢，应不应该说谢谢。<b>而是，你确确实实通过“谢谢”表达出了一种不够亲密，客气，生疏的态度。</b><br><br><br>或者是你不懂如何表达感恩的情绪，所以你只通过简单的两个字——谢谢。<br><br>或者是你其实真的不觉得需要感恩，所以你选择最方便负担最少的两个字——谢谢。<br><br>表达感谢的方式有很多。<br><br>搂着闺蜜轻薄的说一句“看上你真是我的福气，”不比一句“谢谢”有血有肉的多吗？<br><br>发自内心的抱着男朋友说“亲爱的，遇到你是我这辈子最大的幸运，你对我实在太好了，我真的很爱你”，你这么说你男友会觉得你生疏么？<br><br>妈妈爸爸给加了一筷子菜，你也给他们夹回去“妈，秋天了，多吃这个，对身体好。”比不上你一句干巴巴的“谢谢妈妈”？<br><br><b>语言只是一种工具，通过语言最终要实现的是准确的将一个人的情绪传递给对方。</b><br><br><br>换句话说，你有多感恩，就请表现的多感恩。你有多冷淡，就请表现的多冷淡。<br><br>最可悲的就是，明明发自内心的想和爱人亲人好好相处，却因为一句无足轻重的话语，弄得彼此失和、伤心。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">深受“谢谢”困扰的人赶来回答～<br><br>先说结论：说谢可以，分事，分人。<br><br>和楼主一样，以前也被教一定要懂礼貌，别人帮了你，一定要说谢谢。但是长大后就发现有时候说一声谢谢不如不说，说了反而会让气氛冷下来。后来慢慢思考发现，我们从一开始说“谢谢”的出发点就是错的，是礼貌，而不是发自内心的感谢与感恩。<br><br>呵呵。<br><br>这也是我要说的第一点。<br><br>现在的人过度讲究形式，样板，导致我们在与人交往上也必定要有一个形式，最常见的就是“谢谢”这二字。别人帮了你，不管如何都要说声“谢谢”，就好像一声谢能真能谢了人家的付出、对你的关心一样。而且大部分人，包括我自己，有的时候在说谢谢的时候真就是漫不经心的一句“谢谢”。说实话，蛮伤人的。<br><br>请确保你说的每一句谢谢都是发自内心的。不谢。<br><br>第二点，就是结论里所说的分人和事了。<br><br>人我大致分了几层：陌生人，几面之缘的人，熟人，处的好的同学，哥们儿，闺蜜，恋人，爸妈及奶奶爷爷外婆外公。<br><br>对于前两类人，说谢谢的时候一定要微笑，微笑的重要性我就不多说了。<br><br>对于第三第四类人，一定要把话说到，如果是一个小忙的话，可以像对待前两类那样微笑说谢谢。如果是不大不小的忙或者大一些的话，可以用轻松一点的语气说“大恩不言谢啊，下次咱一起吃xxx去，我请客。”(对于这个承诺，你千万不要忘了，吃货会真的记在心里的，你不请，他会由“爱”生“恨”的，不骗你。至于次数，你自己把握(*^o^*))。<br><br>对于哥们儿和闺蜜，像平常这种削苹果让帮忙递把刀的事儿，不用说，削好了喂他(她)一块儿，说“张嘴，好吃不～”如果是大一些的忙呢，默默拉着他(她)沉浸在劫后余生或者成功的喜悦里，恢复之后趁着这股劲儿赶紧下馆子喝酒去，别犹豫，一起经历过事儿的人在一起喝酒，感情会更深的。<br><br>还有恋人，如果做了让你比较高兴的事儿直接买好吃的鼓励呗~<br>要嘛就是：<br>“爱死你了～么么哒~”亲一个～<br>“好感动～”一脸认真顺便吃个豆腐。<br>“没有你我简直不知道该怎么撑下去……”快抱住抱住他(她)安安静静的体会有恋人在身边的美好。(*˘︶˘*)<br><br>以上几句按出现频率由高到低排列。<br><br>对于爸爸妈妈以及从小疼宠咱们的四老就更好办了。咱们第一个谢就是对他们说的。如果是做了什么好菜，这时候一定要认真活泼，字字清晰语调欢快一脸馋相地说“谢谢xx～”。没做好的话，记得打打下手啊~如果是和你说了自己的经验教训balabala的那就要严肃相，说我知道了，xx。之后要用自己的表现来回报他们。(　^ω^)<br><br>说白了，说谢谢一定要发自真心，每个人也有每个人不同的习惯，到底是语言可以与他(她)沟通良好，还是肢体接触更能让他接收到你的心意就需要题主自己去摸索啦～不要只单调的说谢谢啊~ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ<br><br>ps：我还没工作啊==所以关于上司同事的谢谢怎么说完全不知道，大致想一想，表现自己对人家工作能力和德行的认可应该不会有错，具体怎么做，到时候再摸索好了(*´&gt;дps又ps：如有幼稚之处，请大家都指出来(///▽///)。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">大家答得都很精彩，我想反过来说说不喜欢听亲密的人说“谢谢”的人的心理：从公德的角度，“谢谢”是一种礼貌（比如别人帮你指路，服务员上菜的例子）；但是和亲密关系之间（有人喜欢称之为“私德”），“礼貌”有时候会起到一种反作用。这里有这么几种心理：<br>第一，你跟一个人说“谢谢”太多次，就让人觉得你的感恩很廉价，你嘴里的“谢谢”比别人嘴里的“谢谢”便宜很多。举个例子给你个感受：别人向你求助，希望你借他一万元钱，你严肃地说“我借给你十块吧，不用还利息了”。对方从理性上讲应该感恩，毕竟你借给他钱了，比不借要强，但是很多人心理想说：“靠，你当我是要饭的啊！”同样，虽然我们回答不出来谢谢多少钱一斤，但是当“谢谢”说得太多（如果按照题主的习惯几乎无法避免跟亲密的人之间说得“太多”），就沦为便宜的客套用语（其实任何词语说多了都一样），亲密关系之间用便宜的客套用语的让人觉得淡而无味，甚至啰嗦厌烦。题主可以参考每次见到室友男友都说“你好”或者“您好”，效果更明显。<br>第二，有的人会把亲密关系定义得非常亲密，解释一下，就是“好的跟一个人似的”。请问题主会不会自己跟自己说“谢谢”。比如，自己的右手给自己开门，身体会不会要说句谢谢。自己会不会因为今天右手多开了两次门而额外地给右手一些奖励（比如亲右手几口～）同理，有些人（比如父母，室友或者伴侣）觉得大家这么熟这么好了，如果总在小事上客套未免把自己当外人。我中有你，你中有我，大家心照不宣，你的感恩我能感应到（就像身体和右手），说出来就破坏了那种微妙的美好的亲密的默契，成为了只能靠语言交流的两个没有默契的人了。<br>第三，有些亲密的人喜欢通过独一无二来表达特殊关系。比如称呼，很多男女朋友不喜欢对方直接称呼自己的姓名，因为这样就和其他人没区别了，甚至有些人不满足于对方称呼自己为“亲爱的”之类大众情侣称呼，最好搞个专属代号才过瘾，哪怕叫“死鬼”也无妨。同样，他（她）不喜欢你说“谢谢”，因为这样潜意识里他（她）会觉得自己跟一个上菜的服务员没区别了。这也是为什么会有那么多情侣之间的专属动作，表情和其他语言的原因。这些细节的专属会时时刻刻给这个关系一种安全感和亲密感的体验。题主可以考虑每次想跟自己男友说“谢谢”的时候都自动变为亲他一口或者给他一个你最美的发自内心的笑容。爱人心底的笑容比那个廉价的“谢谢”不知道贵多少个数量级。光有爱不够，要懂得表达善于表达。<br>说“谢谢”是礼貌美德，我完全赞同。不过如果非要找出一些不说谢谢的情况的话，大概就是上面说的“大恩不言谢”和“亲恩不言谢”。当然，这些只是部分人的观念和心理活动，我在此挖掘一下而已。<br>PS：目测题主可能幽默感不是很强，不知道猜得对不对。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">谢谢刘柯邀请！<br>答此问题，再上精神分析<br>总述：所有的礼仪都是防御，这在精分理论中可以说是一个绝对的答案。<br>关于我们说谢谢的几点动力学解释：<br>1.在别人的帮助之后说谢谢，那么谢谢代表了一种礼仪，用来掩盖内心对别人的愧疚<br>2.说了声谢谢就互不亏欠了，我得了帮助，你得到了尊重的一声“谢谢”<br>3.谢谢之后加头衔，比如谢谢啦亲爱的，这代表谢谢掩盖了愧疚还不行，谢谢之后所导致的距离感会让人不安，这种情感需要继续被掩盖，所以后面加了一个暧昧的头衔，于是才心安了——相比于第2点，这个就是嵌套的防御，即防御之后再防御。<br>4.谢谢代表了一种反控制：被人帮助，则被人控制，因为有亏欠，所以说一声谢谢，摆脱控制。<br>5.被人赞扬之后的谢谢：对中国人来说，可能代表一份自恋，因为普遍中国人被赞扬之后会自己贬低自己。<br>6.中国家庭文化是一种边界不清的文化，过于紧密的“强制帮助”使人们要随口说谢谢，由此来保持自己的边界。<br>7.谢谢可能是代替了力比多或性欲直接表达的焦虑，：一切与愉快情感有关的动力源于力比多或者性，“你这样对我好，我真的很爱你”之类话会让人觉得可能有性快感，这是道德所不允许的的在中国文化中很少直接表达情感的句子，所以我们要把这句话变成“谢谢”。不喜欢直接表达感受的人，可能就是性压抑的人，所以我们用谢谢代替情感表达。<br><br>关于我们不说谢谢的动力学解释：<br>1.室友以及亲人或爱人觉得说谢谢见外，不说谢谢就是为了拉近关系，使边界不清<br>2.害怕融合感丧失：因为我为你做事就是为我自己做事，所以你就是我，说了谢谢，边界拉开了，我就成了我，你就成了你，我们不再融为一体。<br>3.害怕控制感丢失：如果你说了谢谢，要是我心领了，你就不欠我了，这让我觉得我没有得到我想要的。这种情况下，往往我们帮助他人是有目的的，而非无私的。常常有付出了很多的伴侣，最后撕破脸皮翻旧账，以前说了再多的谢谢都没用，所以翻出旧账，把曾经因为说谢谢所堆砌出的距离感，通过翻旧账，相互争吵的方式给拉近了。<br><br>总结：谢谢一定是防御，往好的看，我倾向于认为是表达感激的一种提示，但不能变成表达感谢就可以再也不用心存感激了。所以，谢谢可以说，关键在于内心是否保持这份感激。所以，对于普通朋友，谢谢是可以的，防御也是应该的，毕竟是普通朋友，何必拉近距离。对于亲朋好友，如果想疏远关系，常说谢谢，如果想拉近距离，就不说谢谢，但我更倾向于通过说出内在感受来表达感激，而非只是一句谢谢。不过换一种方式表达任重道远，如果把“谢谢”换成“我真的很需要你的帮助，我太爱你了”，通常对方会不好意思。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">我有亲密关系说谢谢困难症。同学朋友，如果我把他们放在了比较亲的位置，就张不开嘴说谢谢，听到他们说谢谢也会觉得疏远。<br>有些朋友和我一样，真的特别感谢的时侯，说谢谢，回应的是"说什么呢，怪怪的"。  <br>但是换到随手递个什么东西，夹菜之类的，谢谢挂嘴边，挺自然的。有时候会用3q代替，随口说出来的谢，是那些不走心的谢。听者也就那么一听。<br>当真的感谢的时侯。就说不出来了。爸妈直接不说了。说出来，我觉得很尴尬。特别近的朋友，告诉他，我就不说谢了。男朋友会是最方便表达的叭，你真好，好爱你，没你我可怎么办~&gt;3333


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">男友是韩国人，在与人相处中总是爱说谢谢。一开始我也有点不习惯，好像他总是刻意拉开我们之间的关系。<br><br>举个例子，他加班的时候我关心他有没有吃晚饭，他也对我说谢谢。<br>我说：其实不说谢谢也可以的，关心你是女朋友应该做的事。<br>他说：正因为你做了女朋友应该做的事所以我很感谢啊。<br>-_-<br>待人有礼，对于他来说已经是习惯了，比如每次坐出租车下车的时候，总会努力用中文蹦出发音别扭的谢谢，对师傅表示感谢。<br>一方面我也充分理解这种文化差异，另一方面是他除了对我经常说谢谢之外，还会不吝惜地说我爱你。两个人的相处应该在理解和包容中渐渐找出一种双方都舒服的方式。 <br>表示感谢并没有什么应不应该可言，建议题主下次说了句让男友感觉生分的谢谢之后，加一句甜蜜的我爱你试试看咯。


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一定一定要养成说“谢谢”的习惯，因为这样的习惯有助于你更好的开展人际交往，维持恋爱关系，处理好同事关系，带给家人温暖，不是你说“谢谢”这两个字出问题了，而是表达方式可能欠妥。</b><br><br><br><b>常说“谢谢”是一种习惯和心态，重要的并非是“谢谢”二字，而是背后你为人处世的态度。<br></b><br><br><br><b>对别人说“谢谢”是对别人为你做的付出表达谢意的一种方式，这是对提供帮助者的一种认可，有利于带给别人良好得感受。</b><br><br>我以前是做酒店的，负责前厅接待工作，每天主要的工作就是给客人提供服务，听到最多的就是客人对我说“谢谢”，那时最开心的就是每天跟陌生的客人在一起交谈，为对方提供帮助，然后对方满脸微笑心情愉悦的跟我在告别时说：“谢谢”，这是我喜欢酒店行业的一个重要原因。<br><br>我记得有一次一对国外的老夫妇离开酒店时，我当时在前台忙，她们还专门等了我十分钟，等我腾出手来才把我叫过去跟我道别说：“我们要回英国了，很感谢你这几天对我们的帮助，我们这里有本书，想送给你”（对方知道我喜欢看书）<br><br>那是我做酒店刚入行时遇到的第一次客人这么用心的对待我，只是因为我为她们提供了很用心的服务，和她们交谈的很愉悦，她们在离开这个国家时把我当朋友一样要跟我告别，这种对待让我的心里感到特别的温暖，当然，也正因为日后有很多类似的事情发生，让我非常热爱我的工作。<br><br>PS<br><br>我不是一个专业的酒店人，至少不符合行业对酒店人的标准，同事和老板以及很多客人很喜欢我，但我有个不好的毛病就是很温柔的同时脾气很拽，我对人好，发自内心的那种好，但若那人自身存在问题，极个别的时候，尤其是在我年轻的时候，那人可能会遇到一个脾气超不好的服务员，我曾经就把两个办入住时贪便宜的姑娘气的拖着两个大行李箱在大晚上出去找新的酒店，可能有的人又要开始批我了，说我不专业，这一点，我承认，<b>我的确不太专业，但坚决不改</b>。因为人与人之间是相互的，不是说服务员就不敢得罪客人，不是说你一上来就欺负我，我还得跟你说：“对不起”，完了之后让自己受一肚子委屈。我一般遇到这种情况，人一说“我要投诉你”，我一向是：“好啊，你稍等，我叫我们老大来”，事后老大了解到前因后果也不会说我什么，有一次还得表扬了。可惜了，换行业之后现在我是老大了，但没有遇到有人跟我说：“我要投诉你”，尼玛那时我铁定会无耻的说：“我tm就是最大的，你tm跟谁投诉我啊？”<br><br><b>常说谢谢有利于拉近与陌生人的距离，建立好的第一印象。</b><br><br>我去咖啡馆喝个咖啡，服务员帮我端咖啡过来放桌上，我会说：“谢谢”，对方会感觉挺开心的，有的是回以微笑，点一下头，有的是说声温柔的：“不客气”，只有极少数极少数不专业的人才会毫无回应，面无表情。说谢谢是你的习惯，对方回应不回应真的没有什么关系，但你要养成良好的习惯，因为这个习惯会给你带来丰收。<br><br>比如我去清吧，在吧台点完东西，跟服务员说声谢谢，然后简单闲聊，下次我带姑娘一起，刚到吧台，服务员就笑着跟我打招呼，我酒单不用看，笑着跟对方温柔的说道：“两杯玛格丽特，谢谢”<br><br>对方微笑回应：“好的，你稍等”<br><br>整个点单过程在愉悦的氛围中就完事了，和我一起的姑娘也会感觉不错，少了那些无聊的枯燥的乏味的翻酒单看自己喝什么，服务员站旁边等你点单的场景。<br><br>当然，因为有这个习惯，导致我买衣服啦，去咖啡馆喝咖啡啦，去餐馆吃饭啦，即便是第一次去也能和里面的工作人员甚至是老板聊聊天，给对方留下好印象，有的时候还会在离开时顺便留一下老板或者小美女的联系方式。<br><br><b>如果你有对别人友善的心态，让别人觉得你容易亲近，这是非常有利于你和别人在一开始就拉近距离 ，从而进行交谈，然后成为朋友的。</b><br><br>朋友以及同事相处就不举例了，懂的人自然懂啦。<br><br><b>在这里提醒一下大家，我指的说“谢谢”非嘴上说“谢谢”二字，而是一种心态，知道对身边的人好，对她们对你的好抱以谢意和珍视的态度，如果你有这样的心态，你自己才会懂得去付出，付出的心态在人际交往中是很重要的。</b><br><br>再举个例子，我姐的女儿五岁，如果我帮她做了什么事或者她妈妈帮她做了什么事，她会很可爱的说：“谢谢舅舅”或者“谢谢妈妈”<br><br>你能想想你帮一个小朋友买了个冰淇淋，小朋友开心的跟你说：“谢谢舅舅，然后开吃”与直接拿起冰淇淋就啃，完全无视你，哪种反应会让你感觉更好？<br><br>这也是为什么我们小时候别人为我们提供了帮助或者亲戚给了礼物，妈妈教我们：“快跟阿姨说谢谢”的重要原因。<br><br><b>说“谢谢”这是表达谢意以及情感的一种方式而已，重要的是你需要表达的谢意或者情感，而非“谢谢”二字，我能告诉你在某些场景之下，不用说谢谢，一个拥抱，一个紧紧的拥抱可能会是更好的表达方式？</b><br><br>我这个人平时很忙，很少花费时间和精力带给女朋友惊喜，但我记得曾经多个情人节我的多个女朋友都给我留下了非常深刻的印象，我是从来不会提前跟女朋友说情人节怎么过或者让女朋友知道我会为情人节做准备，我心里其实是鄙视情人节的，至少我是从来不会外出过情人节的。<br><br>一次是二月十四号，我和平时一反常态，女朋友上班，我居然去买一大束玫瑰花回家，然后自己一个人在家里打扫房间，拖地，擦桌子，刷马桶，搞了一下午，准备好蜡烛、红酒、玫瑰花这些东西之后，就继续工作，女朋友累了一天下班回家，一开门，看到这些，我当时在卧室，她在卧室的客厅尖叫道：“老公，我好开心”，然后蹦蹦跳跳的过来抱我，说道：“谢谢老公”，那一刻，我觉得我下午做的那些琐事值得，我自己也感觉很开心很幸福。<br><br>如果我为女朋友准备了这些，然后对方没有反应或者反应不如我预期，这对我来说会是一种伤害，当然，我个人是从不期待女生的任何反应的，我做是因为我想这么做，我想做就去做了，而非是为了女生而去做。<br><br>若你男朋友为你做了让你想表达谢意的事情，你平淡的说“谢谢”，可能会让他感觉疏远，这只是表达方式欠妥而已，比如和朋友一起吃饭，男朋友帮你把碗筷打开，你要做的表达谢意的方式是帮他倒茶，而不是当着朋友们的面跟他说：“谢谢”，恋人相处真的是需要默契的，默契这种东西只能慢慢培养而不能说出来；又比如男朋友给了你惊喜或者做了某件事让你感觉很开心，你要做的是让他了解到此刻的你很开心，那么你开心的略带撒娇的对他说：“谢谢老公，你真好”，会让他感觉很好；我甚至遇到过不下二十个姑娘在我面前哭泣，但哭泣的同时又很开心的跟我说：“谢谢你，海兵”，有个词叫喜极而泣，你也可以理解为感动，这是一种让人感觉很美好的心理感受和情绪体验。<br><br><b>恋人之间最珍贵的是情感，而说“谢谢”只是表达情感的一种方式而已，怎么表达情感才是最重要的，甚至有的情感不需要言语上的表达，懂你的人你一个眼神她就会懂，不懂你的，你说千万句“我爱你”，她当你放屁。</b>


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<a data-tip="p$t$ceng-da-zhu" href="/people/ceng-da-zhu">宇宙之花</a>，<strong title="別人笑我是癲婆" class="zu-question-my-bio">別人笑我是癲婆</strong>

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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">沒有素質教養的人才不說謝謝吧。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">早晨起来看到第一名已经400多票，原答案也作了修改，说教意味已淡，补充内容贴题，越来越符合大众口味。再反观我昨天答案，倒是像一个喷子。<br><br>评论区一位朋友说：答主意图不在批判，在于说明不必拘于“形式”。很抱歉，昨儿个我看到第一名答案的时候还真没看出来。<br>———————————————————————————————————————————<br>2014/9/25 17：59<br>诶诶诶。。。题目中问“谢谢”是否正确 怎么没了？<br><br>还有，<b>强烈反对目前排名第一的答案。</b><br><br>批判用“谢谢”道德绑架？<br><br>批判只会用谢谢，不放心上，不懂感恩？<br><br>过分解读了吧？一个简单行为方式问题，举这种用一个”谢谢”来道德绑架其他人来满足自我需求的人的特例。<br><br>原谅我就看不惯这种有的没的，没事用一些特例来，站在道德审判的位置，去说事，逗不逗？<br><br><br>我咋没看出来题主是为了图自我畅快呢。我怎么看到的只是一个习惯受阻不自在的人在请求帮助呢。<br><br>简单粗暴点，有事说事，直接给勺，不行吗？<br><br><b>现在知乎盛行各种延伸帝、说教大牛？</b><br><b>———————————————————————————————————————————<br></b><br><br><br><b>       我没有反对第一名的道德观点，我反对的是第一名的答案。我反对的是一个简单的问题，延伸到与题目无关的道德上</b><b>面，然后各种批判与说教。想批判说教，可以开专栏。我如果看到，一定会点赞。</b><br><br>———————————————————————————————————————————<br>原答<br><br>说“谢谢”当然没错。<br><br><b>关系亲密程度不是取决于是否说“谢谢”，而是“谢谢”后面的称谓以及语气。</b><br><br>谢谢。<br><br>谢谢您。<br><br>谢谢老板。<br><br>谢谢亲爱哒。<br><br>谢谢老公。<br><br>谢谢宝贝、honey<br><br>谢谢老爸、老妈、二姑、八大姨。。。<br><br>还有。。。。谢谢 傻逼。<br><br>题主你懂了吗？<br>————————————————————————————————————————<br><br>注：谢谢傻逼，是我与我发小之间。


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<a class="answer-date-link last_updated meta-item" data-tip="s$t$发布于 2014-09-25" target="_blank" href="/question/24825703/answer/30995471">编辑于 2014-09-26</a>
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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">个人认为，“谢谢”是一定要说的。不管对谁。<br>这不仅是人与人之间必要的礼仪，更是能够“表达感激之情”的方式。<br>但如果亲密关系说谢谢会觉得很别扭的话，<br>那不妨改成：<br>“么么哒～( ^ω^ )”<br>“你好好哦～ψ(｀∇´)ψ”<br>“有你真好～（≧∇≦）”<br>“我现在一点也不（因为之前无法解决的事情）烦恼辣～♪(´ε｀ )”<br>---------------------------<br>当对方帮了你之后，并不是想看到你有多么多么感激他，多么多么难为情/不好意思。而是，希望被肯定“这事儿没他办不了”。<br>（可能这说法有点屌丝了，但谁不想被人肯定呢。）<br>So，请肯定我，么么哒～(●°u°●)​ 」


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<a class="answer-date-link last_updated meta-item" data-tip="s$t$发布于 2015-02-14" target="_blank" href="/question/24825703/answer/39764373">编辑于 2015-02-14</a>
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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">可以说「谢谢你」 「谢谢您」<br>亲密点儿的「谢谢宝宝」<br>感觉有了指定称谓会好很多，再加上真诚的语气和适当的眼神，我觉得每个人都不会拒绝的


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">老婆：”谢谢。“<br>我：”谢屁啊？！”<br>老婆：“对啊。”<br>我：“。。。。。。”


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">跟基友说个试试。分分钟友尽。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">《庄子·庚桑楚》篇里说“蹍市人之足，则辞以放骜，兄则以妪，大亲则已矣。”<br>在街上踩了陌生人的脚，赶忙赔礼道歉说自己太放肆了；踩了兄弟就安慰一下他；踩了爹妈儿女就没什么好说的。<br>道歉是这么个理，道谢也是相通的。<br>陌生人之间相互缺乏理解和信任，这就需要礼貌用语为人际交往起润滑作用。<br>而越是亲密关系，相互的理解和信任就越牢固，这时候太过正式地运用礼貌用语有时候反而会显得疏远。<br>亲密关系的人之间表达歉意或者谢意自有另外一套方法，比如亲切地摸摸头，亲亲脸，拥抱，马上下厨房包揽今天的晚饭准备工作等等。<br>这些都要比简单而正式的一句“对不起”或者“谢谢”更能够传达亲密关系者之间的真情切意。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">谢邀 <a data-hash="e37963dbb4da3870ac9e1d2d20825fc4" href="//www.zhihu.com/people/e37963dbb4da3870ac9e1d2d20825fc4" class="member_mention" data-tip="p$b$e37963dbb4da3870ac9e1d2d20825fc4">@刘柯</a>  看了一下<a data-hash="726efa048a29d3486822062081eb9a78" href="//www.zhihu.com/people/726efa048a29d3486822062081eb9a78" class="member_mention" data-tip="p$b$726efa048a29d3486822062081eb9a78">@甜阁下</a>及 <a data-hash="8edfe2f86852da7328155f2d69f9345e" href="//www.zhihu.com/people/8edfe2f86852da7328155f2d69f9345e" class="member_mention" data-tip="p$b$8edfe2f86852da7328155f2d69f9345e">@灵悦</a> 的答案都通过不同层面表达得十分清晰完整了。<br>我这里就简单补充一下自己的一点理解。<br><br><br>我觉得无论关系的紧密生疏，表达感谢是有益于关系的加深的，只是需要根据关系的亲疏如何把握表达的方式及对方是否能够接受的方式去促进关系的有益生长。如果方式不对，确实会起到反作用。<br>简单来讲，就如 <a data-hash="726efa048a29d3486822062081eb9a78" href="//www.zhihu.com/people/726efa048a29d3486822062081eb9a78" class="member_mention" data-tip="p$b$726efa048a29d3486822062081eb9a78">@甜阁下</a> 指出的你的家庭文化背景和 男友的家庭成长文化背景是不同的，因此你想流露感激、感谢的情感的时候，就是希望能够去用语言直接简明的说“谢谢”，而可能对于男友而言，这句“谢谢”仅仅是流于表面的一句感谢，可能他的家庭对于感谢、感激之情的表达是通过行动、触摸、礼物馈赠等等其他方式进行的。<br>有一本书叫做《爱的五种语言》题主要是感兴趣的话，可以让自己和男友一起做一做书中的测试，看看大家爱的语言通道是否一致，很可能就是因为这样的不一致，才会让接受的那一方有不同的感受造成不一样的效果。<br><br>所以就和其他答主的想法一样，题主可以尝试换个思路，用其他的方式去表达这句“谢谢”效果可能会有意想不到的效果，也即，用亲密他人可以接纳的方式去表达感谢。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">这是一个教养问题。对有教养的人来说，说谢谢是一种常态。<br>觉得扭捏或者找替代方案的，都可以再训练训练。<br>谢谢。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">记着他的好就想，谢谢一定要说出来吗？本来亲密关系就是两个人部分融合，你的事就是我的事，你是我一部分，谢谢不是像界石一样吗？真要感谢偶尔说就行了。…空了再补，睡觉，先


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">就我而言，或许“谢谢”已经变成了一个脱口而出的“口头禅”，但是我依旧想把这种“形式”继续，因为我希望用每次说出口的“谢谢”提醒自己要在心中再说一遍“谢谢”，因为或许一不小心我就把别人对自己的好视为理所应当了。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">表达感谢有很多种方式，为什么要局限于“谢谢”两字？脑洞再开的大一点吧，妹子。<br><br>跟同事说“哇，这个完成的太赞了，完全超出了预期！好棒好棒！太开心了！”<br>跟家人说“妈妈做的好好吃啊，我要好好吃两碗～”或者开开心心的给予和接受，都比谢谢两字来的好。<br>跟男朋友就更多方式了，有时一双充满爱意和崇拜的眼神，就已经完全足够了。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">不少答案以肯定居多，其实这种事是纯属个人习惯和人际交往习惯。有些人习惯于彼此之间用语礼貌，亲密之人也无所谓。可有些人就是喜欢不拘小节，也不是什么大不了的事情。<br><br>常见到有电视节目在情人节怂恿老年人互说我爱你，看老实的大爷大妈们配合着镜头用不标准的普通话说这三个字，实在是很不愉快的体验。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">基本跟说我爱你一样，我们很少表达出来，以为身边人不用整天那样亲亲我我的表达我们的爱，殊不知其实我们人是需要这些表达的，每每看到国外电影家人互相道一句，I love you，温暖油然而生。只是，只是我们习惯了不善于表达罢了！


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">真心反对排在第一的答案。完全就是站着道德制高点（这词最近好流行？）上，贬低别人，抬高自己。。。<br>题主的问题是亲密关系之间需不需要说谢谢，又不是“如何对待那些只会表面上谢谢你其实就拿你当免费劳力的人”。完全就是一副只要回答问题就必须说教，即使没有条件创造条件也要说教以显示本人的人生导师形象。。。<br>拜托。。。答主您脑洞有点大了吧，非得冤枉人家说谢谢是假惺惺的。。。get不到点被人说答非所问还一副呵呵尔等懂个屁的姿态。。。题主只问了step1，答主把step2,3,4都给想象了。。。。可别说什么有则改之无则加勉，小时候被冤枉之后就讨厌我老妈说这句话，冤枉了别人直接承认错误就好了找什么借口。<br>------------------------------<br><br>我跟题主情况一样，在家里的时候也要说谢谢，而且不光我说，爸爸妈妈也会说，而且就算是我帮了爸妈的忙（帮他们淘宝买个东西之类的），老爸老妈也会跟我说谢谢。<br>所以我觉得这是一个家庭的家教问题，我猜我爸妈包括题主爸妈这种，都是想小孩子知道，被帮忙了就要说谢谢，不要把别人对你好当成理所当然。每一个帮忙或者关爱都值得一句感谢，这是一个原则问题，不必区别对象是谁。<br>至于是不是真心的，这是另外一个问题了。<br><br>对于题主的问题，我觉得跟朋友们还有男朋友说开了就好了啊，自己不是见外，因为从小的家教就这样啊，习惯了说谢谢。而且在其他方面题主表现的亲密一点的话，大家也就不会觉得你见外了。<br>没必要谁去改变，就跟有人喜欢甜粽子有人喜欢咸的一样啊，各吃各的也可以是一桌好饭~


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">我觉得和你关系亲密的人之所以不喜欢你说谢谢，是因为你在说谢谢时表达的情绪情感不对，而且被对方察觉了。看得出你是很有教养的人，谢谢是家庭教育长期训练的结果，是受人帮助后自动化的脱口而出的反应。关系并不亲近的人接收到了你这句话，理解为你的礼貌回应，这是他们需要的。但关系亲密的人，对你好或帮小忙时，并不需要你的礼貌，需要的是相处的轻松自在随意，所以会觉得生分。如果你在说谢谢时通过语气语调表情肢体体现出真情，那大概会被接受。也许还会表达不接受，但那是因为他们把提供的帮助和你们的关系比较，觉得是微不足道承受不了这么强的表达，但心里还是愉悦的。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">我每天说谢谢妈妈不下十次


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">看到这个问题我只想问 为什么不？！


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">peny对蓝呐德说，你不用每次之后都跟我说谢谢


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">女士：把稍显硬邦稍显生疏的“谢谢”变成面带微笑或带点调皮撒娇语气的说道：谢谢亲爱的的老公/亲爱的老爸/亲爱的…，再加上你真的太好了/我就知道你最好！<br>男士：谢啦，好兄弟/老爸/亲爱的…拍拍对方肩膀或什么的。<br>这样应该会让对方舒服的多吧。


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<a class="answer-date-link last_updated meta-item" data-tip="s$t$发布于 2015-04-12" target="_blank" href="/question/24825703/answer/44590269">编辑于 2015-04-12</a>
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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">我觉得谢谢不是表客气，而是表感激。任何时候，任何人，任何事物，当你想对他/她/它表达你的感激之情都可以说谢谢。


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<a class="answer-date-link meta-item" target="_blank" href="/question/24825703/answer/39975275">发布于 2015-02-17</a>
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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">可以说，但是不必需。<br><br>像题主所说的情况，家庭聚餐。<br>我的话，由于是小辈，在长辈或者年纪大我不少的同辈们给我夹菜或者倒茶的时候，<br>我更倾向于说一声“对不起”。<br><br>家族间夹菜倒茶之类的都只是举手之劳，虽说因人而异，<br>但大体上，在其间是算不上足以承载谢意的。<br>与其说“谢谢”是为了表达谢意，倒不如说是为了使自己心安，<br>类似于“让姨妈给我倒茶了，还真是过意不去啊。”之类的心情。<br>这样的话，说一句“对不起”不是更好吗？<br><br>对于“谢谢”这两个字，其实大多数普通人是会选择刻意回避的。<br>回避的方式会有：<br>1. 只用一个谢字并加以语气词，用一种轻巧的方式来表达。如：谢啦/多谢咯<br>2. 使用外语<br>究其原因，大概是因为我们在待人接物时日益的轻佻化。<br>而日常相处时的“谢谢”多多少少是会引起一些尴尬的。<br><br>对于常把“谢谢”挂在嘴边的人，现时的中国社会更倾向于将这一类人评级为“矫情”，而非“有礼貌”。<br>虽说爱说“谢谢”是个好习惯，但是毕竟在为人处世这件事，可不是自己说了算的。<br><br>*老实说，真要表达谢意的话，还是用一些实在的方法更好。<br>（请客吃顿饭，或者对于长辈多探望探望什么的=。=）


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<a class="answer-date-link last_updated meta-item" data-tip="s$t$发布于 2015-04-02" target="_blank" href="/question/24825703/answer/43667256">编辑于 2015-04-02</a>
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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">老婆端茶，一样会说谢谢，请把说谢谢作为一种习惯，谢谢。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">我和男朋友好朋友家人什么的都会说谢谢。不说难受。幸好他们也喜欢说谢谢。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">一般和小伙伴说谢谢都是用么么哒代替哒(￣▽￣)


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">很多朋友包括伴侣嘴上说不要说对不起，其实心里并不会讨厌，反而潜意识会觉得ta对你的帮助是切实有用的，觉得自己的帮助是有用的，是有价值的。所以，说说更健康。<br><br><br>..……鄙人多年玩心里经验----相信我------------


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">谢谢是对对方的尊重，难道亲密关系的人就不需要尊重了么。


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<a data-tip="p$t$xiao-li-50-88" href="/people/xiao-li-50-88">小醴</a>，<strong title="爱生活" class="zu-question-my-bio">爱生活</strong>

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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">一定要，一定要。<br>—————————————————————很多人就是这样自认为觉得已经关系很亲密了，才会越来越被人厌，花很大心思帮助你或者你伤害了别人，最后连句谢谢或者对不起都没有，感受不到你感激或是歉意，只会让人心寒，包括最亲密的人。


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<div class=" zm-editable-content clearfix">以前的我也和题主有一样的困扰<br>在家庭生活和教育中 养成了即使对父母亲人也会表达感谢 在他们帮助我的时候都会习惯的说谢谢 可是到了大学生活中 导致了男朋友很强烈的反对 他认为：这是一种距离感的表现 是一种类似外人和自己人的感觉<br>其实我们说谢谢 <b>本意是想表达</b><b>一种感激和感激 让对方感受到自己的谢意</b> 但是如果对方并不认可这种方式 （比如我们的男友） 效果适得其反 并没有起到感情的良好沟通 <br>那么 就换一种方式<br><b>人就要在生活中学会灵活的应对</b><br>对于他们来说 <b>表达感谢的方式有很多种 如果谢谢不是期待的那种 那我们换一种就行了</b> 比如 亲昵地拉手 或者一句 有你真好<br>所以我建议题主 <b>不要放弃一份感激的和说谢谢的心 只要稍微转换一下 对不同的人 针对他们不同的身份和观念 选择最佳合适的感谢方式</b>


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